The Leap of Your Life Read online

  Praise for The Leap of Your Life

  “A must read for anyone who knows there's a larger life out there for them and is ready to create it!”

  —Mark A. Lack, TV Host and Speaker

  “There's a lot of noise out there telling you what to do, and how to do it. Unfortunately, few people out there are living it. Tommy Baker is, and The Leap of Your Life will give you permission to take ownership of your life and never look back.”

  —Ryan Michler, Founder of Order of Man

  “If you're ready to make that change, that shift, that decision that you know will change your life, but you don't know where to start, Tommy Baker is your answer. Tommy will guide and direct you through The Leap of Your Life. Stop waiting for your success, grab this opportunity to be guided by one of the best in the business. Leap!”

  —Jay Nixon, Founder, Thrive Fitness

  THE

  LEAP

  OF YOUR LIFE

  HOW TO REDEFINE RISK, QUIT

  WAITING FOR “SOMEDAY,” AND

  LIVE BOLDLY

  TOMMY BAKER

  Cover image: © technotr/iStockphoto

  Cover design: Wiley

  Copyright © 2019 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. All rights reserved.

  Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.

  Published simultaneously in Canada.

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 646-8600, or on the Web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions.

  Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.

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  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for and is on file with the Library of Congress.

  ISBN 9781119552536 (Hardcover)

  ISBN 9781119552529 (ePDF)

  ISBN 9781119552437 (ePub)

  For both of my incredible grandmothers, Marjorie and Pepita. For

  giving me the gift of knowledge, and the belief of possibility.

  CONTENTS

  Cover

  Praise for The Leap of Your Life

  Introduction

  Part I Leaning on the Edge Chapter 1 Daring to Dream The Dream of a Lifetime

  You Have a Quest to Take, Too

  December 31, 2014—10:36 p.m. New York, New York

  The Edge Is Your Invitation

  How You Get There Matters Less Than Getting There

  You’re Here for a Reason and It’s Time to Unleash It

  Insight Is Overrated—You Already Know What to Do

  Notes

  Chapter 2 What’s Holding You Back? Fear Has Taken Control of Your Life

  Stop Trying to Eradicate Fear

  Release the Conditions

  Pull Up a Seat, Fear Is Here to Stay

  The Unknown Is Calling, but You’re Not Listening

  Reframe: The Unknown Is Where the Magic Happens

  Reframe: Judgment Is a Mirror

  Notes

  Chapter 3 Life, Unlived The Greatest Price You’ll Ever Pay

  Understanding Regret

  Don’t Miss Your Window

  Using Regret as Leverage

  Flip the Script and Choose Something New

  There Is No Loss in Going for It

  Notes

  Chapter 4 Risk, Redefined Face the Music: Life Is Already Risky

  No Risk, No Magic, No Riveting Story

  Flip the Script and Change the Rules

  The Greatest Risk of All

  Notes

  Part I Turning Point: Letting Go

  Part II Before Your Journey Chapter 5 Know Yourself Ignorance Isn’t Bliss; It’s Painful

  Step 1: Cultivate Your Life Philosophy

  Step 2: Identifying Your Core Principles (or Values)

  Step 3: Developing Emotional Intelligence and Resilience

  Step 4: Radical Self-Assessment

  Step 5: Examining and Reframing Your Stories

  Your Leap Is the Direct Path to Know Yourself

  Note

  Chapter 6 Release the Noise You Already Know What to Do

  You Don’t Discover Anything . . . You Allow It

  Less Is More

  The Closet Principle

  Step 1: Take Inventory

  Step 2: Delete, Delete, Delete

  Step 3: Examine Your Environment

  Step 4: Tune into the Signal

  Tuning Out to Tune Back In

  Notes

  Chapter 7 Light Your Life on Fire Step 1: Create Clarity Around Your Purpose

  Step 2: Identify What Lights You Up Inside

  Step 3: Take Inventory of Your Key Skills

  Step 4: Examine the Marketplace and Their Needs

  Step 5: Construct Your One-Liner

  Mastery Creates Meaning

  Your Skill Game Plan

  Putting It All Together

  Notes

  Chapter 8 Crafting the Vision The Voice on the Inside Must Be Loud

  Plant the Seed and Let the Universe Do Its Thing

  Vision Boards Don’t Work, or Do They?

  Vision Pillar 1: Relentless Clarity

  Vision Pillar 2: Undeniable Belief

  Vision Pillar 3: Consistent Action (Collapse Reality)

  Vision Pillar 4: Intense Focus

  Vision Pillar 5: Cultivating Patience

  Vision Pillar 6: Total Surrender [–$137.67 Available]

  Your Vison Is Your Compass

  Notes

  Chapter 9 Embrace Your Moment Chronos, Kairos, and the Feeling

  Other Key Ingredients to Define Your Moment

  My Moment (Back in New York)

  Don’t Let Your Moment Become a Video Game

  Step 1: Declare Like Your Life Depends on It

  Step 2: Commit with Mind, Body, and Spirit

  Step 3: Execute Immediately or Else

  Step 4: You Are All In, Act Like It

  Don’t Miss Your Moment (It
May Never Come Back)

  Tomorrow, Everything Changes

  Bridging the Gap

  Notes

  Part II Turning Point: You WillNever Be the Same

  Part III The Leap of Your Life Chapter 10 The Business Leap (Purpose, Unleashed) Your Business Leap Will Impact Your Entire Experience

  The Strongest Anchor Out There

  The Excitement Test

  Types of Business Leaps

  They’re Waiting for You

  Eradicate Your Excuses … Start Now

  Business Is an Endless Series of Leaps

  Notes

  Chapter 11 The Physical Leap (Vitality on Fire) Who It’s For

  Waking Up to a Health Crisis

  A Deeper Reason for a Powerful Result

  What Your Physical Leap Will Reveal

  The Spirit of Kokoro

  Types of Physical Leaps

  How to Create Your Own

  If You Do This Right, You May Never Be the Same

  Notes

  Chapter 12 The Spiritual Leap (Disconnect to Reconnect) Destination Nowhere (Except Inward)

  Who It’s For

  The Greatest Quest

  I Don’t Have Time for This Stuff

  Types of Spiritual Leaps

  What’s (Always) in the Way

  Practical Tools for Your Spiritual Leap

  Your Spiritual Leap

  Notes

  Chapter 13 The Connection Leap (Love Out Loud) Not All Sunshine and Rainbows

  Who It’s For

  Waking Up Alone

  Self-Love Is the New Black

  The Benefits

  Types of Connection Leaps

  What Gets in the Way

  Be the Leader with Vulnerability

  Put Yourself on the Line

  Notes

  Part III Turning Point: The Leapof Your Life

  Part IV Coming Home Chapter 14 Brave New World You Will Never Be the Same (Act Like It)

  Learn to Love Duality

  Make Your Success as Automatic as You Can

  Leap Habit 1: Reaffirm Your Vision Daily

  Leap Habit 2: Take One (Purposeful) Step

  Leap Habit 3: Create Space to Reflect

  Leap Habit 4: Cultivate Faith and Trust

  Leap Habit 5: Practice Deletion

  Ask the (Right) Questions

  Bulletproof Your Leap

  Notes

  Chapter 15 The Evolution of You The Oasis Is a Myth (but Life Is Still Amazing)

  Breakthrough Isn’t the End, It’s the Start

  Always Sit in the Front of the Class of Life (Leaders Are Learners)

  The Beautiful Dance

  One Year’s Worth of Results in 90 Days

  “You’ve Changed.”

  Find Your People

  What Not to Do (and What to Do)

  You, Inc.

  Note

  Chapter 16 Your Declaration The Time Is Now

  June 11, 2018,San Sebastian, Spain, 10:09 a.m.

  Your Declaration

  The Leap of Your Life

  The Pen Is Full of Ink, Now Go Write Your Story

  Resources

  Acknowledgments

  Index

  End User License Agreement

  List of Illustrations

  Chapter 2 Figure 2.1 Fear is your compass.

  Chapter 3 Figure 3.1 My favorite “Today I F****d Up” post on Reddit.

  Chapter 7 Figure 7.1 Purpose, passion, skills, and marketplace needs come together to create your on...

  Chapter 8 Figure 8.1 Framework for making decisions about your future.

  Chapter 10 Figure 10.1 The key of alignment.

  Introduction

  What are you waiting for?

  There’s a leap in your life you’ve been putting off, and it’s killing you. Maybe not literally, but it’s killing your spirit. It’s killing your belief, your enthusiasm, and the thrill of this one experience we call life. It’s killing your energy, vitality, and hope for the future. When those are gone, you might as well be the walking dead.

  It’s draining your life force, and every day you put it off, you’re reminded of how it hasn’t happened for you yet. And now you’re questioning if it ever will.

  The consequences of not taking your leap are real, and they stare back at you every morning in the mirror. They’re reflected in bank statements. They’re felt in your body language during time with the people you love. They’re wrapped in not on long exhales as you aim to keep it all together.

  But worst of all, they’re reflected in this tireless voice in the back of your head that won’t shut up, asking:

  “Is this it? Is this all that’s meant for me?”

  Now, does this mean I’m certain your life isn’t working? No, not at all. Our lives can be working, and we can still have a leap we know we must take. Sometimes, this can be the most precarious circumstance of all: we have everything we’ve been told we should want, yet something is still missing.

  And I’m here to tell you what’s missing is your leap. But before we get into it all, let’s define what a leap is.

  The Ingredients of the Leap

  You may be wondering: What exactly constitutes a leap? You may be thinking it’s abandoning Western life and moving to an ashram in the Himalayas, quitting your accounting gig, launching the new app or parachuting out of a perfectly good airplane at 15,000 feet.

  Although all of those sound like fun to me and could be leaps, they don’t have to be yours. Sometimes, the leap we have to take seems inconsequential to others and yet leads to a bold moment of no return: reaching out to a recruiter with the hopes of transitioning out of our job, having the tough conversation with our partner, launching the side hustle or finally clicking record and spreading a message with the world.

  What matters, then is not necessarily the magnitude of the leap. It’s simply that it matters to you, and includes the following:

  You feel a pull. You can’t explain it, but you feel pulled toward your leap. Much like a magnetic charge, you can try to avoid it, but it comes back stronger than ever.

  There’s a decision. Your leap involves a decision you’ve been putting off and will require you to make a bold choice.

  The stakes are high. Your leap matters. There are real consequences to not making it. There are also endless possibilities by stepping into it.

  There’s an element of risk. Your leap has a degree of risk, and for now you’ve chosen to play it “safe” at the expense of your own fulfillment.

  Not doing it will hurt more than doing it. Lastly, even though you haven’t taken your leap yet, not doing so hurts more than any consequence or perceived failure of taking it.

  So, again—what are you waiting for?

  If you’re here, I already know you’re waiting for something. Every day you put it off, a part of you withers away, knowing your dreams are on hold as you attempt to live someone else’s life. (I use the word attempt deliberately, because no matter how hard we try, it’ll never quite pan out.)

  Playing It Safe Means a Lifetime of Regret

  As we begin this adventure, I want you to treat it as such. I’m going to take a wild guess you’ve read books with similar themes, but you haven’t read this one. Finishing this book will drive you toward a decision, which won’t be shared only between you and me.

  There are a few reasons why you may be here right now, and I’m going to tell you why you should stick around:

  First, you feel a calling for something bolder and bigger for your life, and you believe it may be possible, but you’re finding yourself stuck.

  Second, you know if you continue on the same path you’re on today, you’re going to look back and feel the sinking feeling of regret.

  Third, you’re tired of playing everyone else’s game. For too long, you’ve done what others told you to do and ignored a part of you that knew without question what was right.

  Last, there’s a voice whispering to you during the silent pockets of life slowl
y begging you to put yourself on the line and do it now.

  This voice comes to you when the intensity of life has slowed down. When it can no longer be drowned out in noise, bills, and an unrelenting breaking news cycle, it comes to you. Sometimes it whispers on those long car rides when you’re running on autopilot and have the ability to think, during those early mornings right before the chaos of the inbox hits. Or when you’re in those in-between moments on the airplane and the perspective of being at 37,000 feet invites some deeper questions.

  As long as you fit one, two, or all of those descriptions—you’ve come to the right place.

  By the end of our time together, one of two things will happen:

  You’ll think everything I said sounded nice, but you won’t make the commitment I’m daring you to make—so this might as well be a video game. Except there’s no fantasy land, and I’m not nearly as entertaining.

  Or, you’ll have the spark, the insight, the push required to create something so powerful that the current version of yourself can’t imagine it. You’ll be brought to your knees (except this time, in an is-this-really-happening way.)

  You’ll finally take the Leap of Your Life and you’ll never be the same.

  But I’ve Already Taken a Leap . . . Is This for Me?

  You may be saying to yourself: but I’ve already taken the leap. You launched your business, you moved cross-country, you took the big chance. This can’t be for you, right?

  Wrong. The fastest way to slide back to mediocrity is to believe life and business are about one leap. The truth is, life and business are a series of leaps and micro-leaps as you continue to expand on your journey. Most people assume if they already did a leap, they’ll be better prepared for the next one, right?